Who Wants To Marry A Feminist?

It’s a fair question!  In my case however, swap the word “marry” with “date” and there you have it.  Although our experiences are not the same, I can still see parallels between myself and Lisa Miya-Jervis.  Marriage is something I look forward to in the future, but this is something that I believe is prevalent in the “dating world.”  To some, I may be too outspoken or stubborn and I don’t mind that.  I believe that in any relationship, both parties should hold an equal (or as close as possible) status.  In the past, I have become upset by the idea that” a woman’s place is in the kitchen, so where’s my sandwich?”  It actually angers me just writing it…I appreciate the freedoms I have been given by the women of the past and it hurts to think that someone would look down upon that freedom.  Granted, this is most likely one of those “extreme cases” and I was just lucky enough to find it.

It pained me to read that some people believe a feminist should hate all men and refrain from marrying.  Although, I did find it quite funny to see these ideas named and described as “the yeti of the anti-feminist world…everyone claims to have seen her but actual evidence is sparse.”  Further into her piece, Miya-Jervis describes a scene that makes me a bit nauseous.  She concisely describes the “perfect girlfriend” (according to a source that will remain nameless).  She writes that “wives [girlfriends] are assumed-by anyone-to be obedient little women with no lives of their own.” Whoa Nelly!  I cannot express enough, through words, how much I dislike this idea.  Maybe it’s the Irish blood flowing through my veins, but that just needs to end here!  Like the author, I believe that a relationship cannot function under these delusions of “grandeur” and it is time for society (and everyone in it) to wake up and smell the coffee.  Women are not meant to be treated like second-class citizens and deserve everything that they (we) have fought and worked for.  This is not just a quest for feminists, but all women.

Definitely Not Disney's "Camp Rock"

So if you’re anything like me, you felt like it was nearly impossible to avoid all of the hoopla surrounding the Disney Channel’s movie “Camp Rock” (featuring the Jonas Brothers, Demi Lovato, and several other Disney ‘stars’).  They sing, they dance, and they are all perfect!  There is never a hair out of place or a problem without a solution (that is only five seconds away)…it is a movie.  What kind of message does this send to the children (and unlucky older siblings) watching the show?  It is possible to be a rock star with the right kind of money or uncanny luck.  In other words, it’s not really going to happen for anyone.

            However, this kind of message is completely negated by Misty MacFarlane’s Girls Rock Camp.  The camp encourages and develops “self-confidence, strength, and empowerment through the medium of a chosen instrument-guitar, bass, drums, or vocals.”  In this camp attended by girls, grades 6-12, there are no close-ups with a camera or princess beauty treatments.  They work hard and rock harder!  The experience is not about becoming famous, but exploring what it means to be a girl.  Throughout their stay, campers see how to find a place for themselves.  This could mean a place with accepting people at school, or on a larger scale, society as a whole.  Each instrument is an outlet for all frustration, confusion, sadness, happiness, and any other emotions a young girl may have.  They are shown how to use their voices and be not just seen…but heard.  To witness this journey, even through a documentary, is a powerful thing.  The growth accomplished over the course of a week is amazing. I personally wish that there were more camps like these and that I had been able to attend one when I was younger.  The camps and all of the counselors’ hard work bring a whole new meaning to the phrase “Rock on!”

What's In A Riot Grrrl?

The answer to that question varies, but it definitely is not the stereotypical sugar, spice, and everything nice.  These women defy the mold that society has created.  I can’t help but wonder, is it such as bad thing that their courage and zest for an identity has been incorporated into the mainstream?  Alison Jacques seemed to think so.  The voice within her paper appeared to say that once society got a hold of the Riot Grrrl spirit, the original ideas behind it were undervalued.  I see her point, but not all meaning was lost.  Those responsible for spreading knowledge should not be chastised for doing to.  The intensity of emotion and thought within the Riot Grrrl circle can be shared by those outside of the group.  A new diaspora can be created, and to some extent, has been.  Some may say that the ideas of Riot Grrrl members were a threat to society and that’s why it was “diluted”.  However, I think that someone saw a chance for change and awareness to occur.  Someone saw that it was time for girls and women to stop apologizing for existing.  Our power is not lost and we are all in this together!

Phenomenal Woman

Maya Angelou’s poem “Phenomenal Women” is uplifting!  She writes that although she may not exactly fit the perceived definition of what is “beautiful”, she still feels beautiful.  She takes pride in herself and loves who she is.  I love that she refuses to hang her head because she is not “perfect”.  I wish more women would have the strength to say that they think they are beautiful (not in a conceited manner, but one of acknowledgement or appreciation).  Angelou writes that her beauty stems from her desire to live happily and enjoy the experiences that life has to offer.  Her beauty and strength comes from her willingness to simply be…be proud, be joyful, be alive....Angelou considers herself to be (what some might call) a “real woman”; that is, one who is natural and has an amazing aura of her own.  To read such statements is empowering!  I hope all women will think of themselves as phenomenal and say, “Phenomenal women, that’s me”.

I’m holding onto My Nose

I couldn’t help but smile while reading Lisa Miya-Jervis’ piece, Hold that Nose.  Just as she says a large nose is a physical characteristic of her Jewish heritage, the same thing goes for being Polish.  I can tell a Polish nose when I see one (in part, because I have one). They’re difficult to miss and I’m glad they’re there.  I thought the idea of having “corrective” surgery on her nose would have been a big mistake.  Although a large nose is not necessarily desirable in society’s eyes, it’s still part of who you are.  In the grand scheme of things, the size of your nose (whether it shows a degree of femininity or acceptance into the American culture) does not matter!  You have to take pride in your people and who you are.  It seems like, in America, everyone is an immigrant (meaning your ancestors came from somewhere else…no matter how many generations ago).  I also found it interesting that Lisa found humor in the stereotypes of Jews (Woody Allen movies).  I can find humor in the stereotypes created about my Polish ancestors.   I do not let them hinder my self-worth.  Sometimes, you just have to ignore all of the billboards, magazines, and TV commercials.  You are who you are, so hold your head (and of course your nose) high.

To Be Or Not To Be? ("Hot") That Is The Question.

According to Jessica Valenti’s article, “unattainable beauty standards for women aren’t a new thing.” Alright, it’s nice to have that established, but please tell me something that I don’t know.  All snide comments aside, she does bring to light an interesting topic (several in fact).  This piece’s main notion is widely known, but is often taken with a pinch of denial.  Valenti proposes that women are not the ones who define what is desirable.  She says that it’s about “being accessible-to men, in particular.  To be truly hot in this never-never land of tits and ass, we have to be constantly available- to be looked at, touched, and fucked. Sounds harsh, I know, but it’s true.” First of all, let me just say “Wow! Jessica Valenti, you are brave!” Secondly, I believe that she has a point.  This type of mentality is a harsh reality of the world today.  Some may care to disagree and that’s fine.  However, based on the vast majority of media available to the public today, I’ll support Valenti’s side of the argument.

 Sexually loaded images are streamed everywhere all the time.  These images are mostly of women.  As I see these images during my daily activities, I can’t help but wonder, “Does this woman (the one on the billboard, in the music video, or in the commercial) have a say in how she’s being portrayed to the world?” The answer: most likely not.  I will acknowledge that there are numerous dimensions to this type of situation as well, but again, who is defining what’s “hot” and how is it making others (specifically women) feel?  While exploring the subject further, my mind instantly leapt to a music video preformed by Pitbull and several scantily clad women.  Take a look for yourself.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2tMV96xULk

If Women Ran Hip Hop, I'd Be A Patron

I absolutely adore Aya de Leon’s poem, “If Women Ran Hip Hop” (pg.534).  I laughed or smiled at the end of (nearly) every line.  The points she brings up are interesting ones.  I wish that her vision was a reality.  I concur with her desire for women to take possession over their own bodies and live how they choose to.  Each of the small details she brings up is actually anything but “small”.  The world could be a better place if people truly stopped and thought before they acted.  A world without the degradation of women would be amazing!  I can picture the club she describes.  I especially love the idea of “all the young women [who are] afraid to bust… unleash[ing] their brilliance on the world.”  This kind of raw power could transform the world, but as of now, it’s just a thought of what could happen.

*Here's a link to a site that has her poem in its entirety:

http://www.ayadeleon.com/vision.html