No Más

I am a movie junkie. You may ask, “How does this coincide with a unit focused on violence against women?”   The answer to this question: every piece written and video clip shown has reminded me of the movie called “Enough” (starring Jennifer Lopez).  The movie begins charmingly enough.  The main character, nicknamed “Slim” (Lopez) meets, marries, and eventually has a child with the man who appears to be her soul mate.  However, like most movies, a twist comes along and her entire world turns up-side down.  Her husband becomes violent.  He assaults his wife and their daughter is then caught up in the fray.  To protect her child, Slim and her daughter flee from their home.  Throughout a series of events she changes her identity and runs all over the country, trying to hide from her aggressive husband.

Near the film’s end, Slim decides that she is tired of running and that hiding will not protect Grace forever.  She invests in self-defense lessons and learns to trust her inner strength.  Slim sees that she has a right to protect herself and her child from danger.  She cannot let someone else fight for her.  In the end, Slim settles her score with her husband and is freed from his tyranny.  She is strong!

Balance

In class, we were asked to pick out a single quote from all of our readings and explain why it had such an enormous impact.  At the time this seemed nearly impossible.  It felt like every sentence had a story behind it and they were all equally important.  However, after being given more time there is one sentence in particular that has managed to imprint itself in my mind.  It is part of a large piece by Susan Shaw and Janet Lee, the book’s central authors.  The sentence simply reads, as written by Shaw and Lee, “Fortunately he did not rape her” (563).  This single sentence is part of a woman’s terrifying experience with her attacker.

She had been beaten and left broken in the hallway outside her apartment, but there was still some light to be found with the darkness.  The woman had not been raped.  Although this is an incredibly positive thing, it breaks my heart that the attack occurred at all.  No one should be made to go through what she did.  I believe that there is a balance that must be maintained throughout life.  However, the fact that rape was not in this woman’s cards is not what I had in mind.  Her story, with an innocent woman and a seemingly harmless man who transforms into a power-hungry individual, is unfortunately one that many experience and it is all too real.

Maid in Manhattan

              It’s a cute movie and a prime example of how a Latina woman can be treated in the work force.  They are looked down upon and often given the jobs that no one else wants.  The main character, played by Jennifer Lopez, is a maid in one of New York’s upscale hotels.  She is surrounded by guests who have nothing else on their mind but which piece of designer clothing they should wear.  While working harder than all the other employees, she is still thought of only as a lowly Latina maid.  Lopez’s character, Maria, eventually believes that she cannot be anything more than a maid.  Through a series of uncanny events, she sees that her heritage is not what is holding her back.   

            Although stereotypically (and historically) placed within the lower levels of the business world, Latinas such as myself may have seen that stereotypes can be defeated and the world has more to offer than scrubbing floors.  However, not everyone’s (actually no one’s) life can be scripted like a movie.  Everything takes time and a little luck never hurt!

The Politics of Housework

          The Politics of Housework was far less than a democratic discussion.  It rivaled a childish case of “he said, she said”.  That is not to say that the author’s feelings are insignificant.  However, I feel that the argument is one that will never come to an end and I have heard it from countless times.  Pat Mainardi’s essay has actually rendered me speechless.  I cannot think of anything to say about it, except for the fact that it reminded me of an episode of “Desperate Housewives”.  There was an argument over housework between Lynette and Tom (one of the main characters and her husband).  In the end, I think the issue is not that there is an unequal division of work, but that one spouse does not feel appreciated for the work he or she has done. 

Marriage +Love = A Bunch of Hooey

          Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s give it up for Emma Goldman!  According to Goldman, love and marriage have nothing to do with one another and marriage “makes a parasite of woman”.  Those are two fantastic ideas that may have held quite a lot of truth in 1910, but what about now?  Is it possible that marriage makes a woman “an absolute dependent…incapacitates her for life’s struggles, annihilates her social consciousness, [and] paralyzes her imagination.”?  Most likely not, but that doesn’t stop the insanely wealthy from trying.  Not that I’m saying wealthy people seek to destroy their partner’s “backbone”, but there may be a few cases out there.  In her time, Ms. Goldman would have been discussing a topic that many people refused to openly acknowledge.  It saddens me to know that women were forced to marry a man they knew could provide for them, with any emotional attachment never coming into play.  It is a biological tendency to look for a mate that can provide protection, but to be completely dependent on another person will not create an effective member of society by today’s standards.  So now, I can’t help but wonder why other “traditions” are being clung to (when women are involved) while the idea of love and marriage being worlds apart was so quickly discarded.  Any ideas?

Who Wants To Marry A Feminist?

It’s a fair question!  In my case however, swap the word “marry” with “date” and there you have it.  Although our experiences are not the same, I can still see parallels between myself and Lisa Miya-Jervis.  Marriage is something I look forward to in the future, but this is something that I believe is prevalent in the “dating world.”  To some, I may be too outspoken or stubborn and I don’t mind that.  I believe that in any relationship, both parties should hold an equal (or as close as possible) status.  In the past, I have become upset by the idea that” a woman’s place is in the kitchen, so where’s my sandwich?”  It actually angers me just writing it…I appreciate the freedoms I have been given by the women of the past and it hurts to think that someone would look down upon that freedom.  Granted, this is most likely one of those “extreme cases” and I was just lucky enough to find it.

It pained me to read that some people believe a feminist should hate all men and refrain from marrying.  Although, I did find it quite funny to see these ideas named and described as “the yeti of the anti-feminist world…everyone claims to have seen her but actual evidence is sparse.”  Further into her piece, Miya-Jervis describes a scene that makes me a bit nauseous.  She concisely describes the “perfect girlfriend” (according to a source that will remain nameless).  She writes that “wives [girlfriends] are assumed-by anyone-to be obedient little women with no lives of their own.” Whoa Nelly!  I cannot express enough, through words, how much I dislike this idea.  Maybe it’s the Irish blood flowing through my veins, but that just needs to end here!  Like the author, I believe that a relationship cannot function under these delusions of “grandeur” and it is time for society (and everyone in it) to wake up and smell the coffee.  Women are not meant to be treated like second-class citizens and deserve everything that they (we) have fought and worked for.  This is not just a quest for feminists, but all women.

Definitely Not Disney's "Camp Rock"

So if you’re anything like me, you felt like it was nearly impossible to avoid all of the hoopla surrounding the Disney Channel’s movie “Camp Rock” (featuring the Jonas Brothers, Demi Lovato, and several other Disney ‘stars’).  They sing, they dance, and they are all perfect!  There is never a hair out of place or a problem without a solution (that is only five seconds away)…it is a movie.  What kind of message does this send to the children (and unlucky older siblings) watching the show?  It is possible to be a rock star with the right kind of money or uncanny luck.  In other words, it’s not really going to happen for anyone.

            However, this kind of message is completely negated by Misty MacFarlane’s Girls Rock Camp.  The camp encourages and develops “self-confidence, strength, and empowerment through the medium of a chosen instrument-guitar, bass, drums, or vocals.”  In this camp attended by girls, grades 6-12, there are no close-ups with a camera or princess beauty treatments.  They work hard and rock harder!  The experience is not about becoming famous, but exploring what it means to be a girl.  Throughout their stay, campers see how to find a place for themselves.  This could mean a place with accepting people at school, or on a larger scale, society as a whole.  Each instrument is an outlet for all frustration, confusion, sadness, happiness, and any other emotions a young girl may have.  They are shown how to use their voices and be not just seen…but heard.  To witness this journey, even through a documentary, is a powerful thing.  The growth accomplished over the course of a week is amazing. I personally wish that there were more camps like these and that I had been able to attend one when I was younger.  The camps and all of the counselors’ hard work bring a whole new meaning to the phrase “Rock on!”

What's In A Riot Grrrl?

The answer to that question varies, but it definitely is not the stereotypical sugar, spice, and everything nice.  These women defy the mold that society has created.  I can’t help but wonder, is it such as bad thing that their courage and zest for an identity has been incorporated into the mainstream?  Alison Jacques seemed to think so.  The voice within her paper appeared to say that once society got a hold of the Riot Grrrl spirit, the original ideas behind it were undervalued.  I see her point, but not all meaning was lost.  Those responsible for spreading knowledge should not be chastised for doing to.  The intensity of emotion and thought within the Riot Grrrl circle can be shared by those outside of the group.  A new diaspora can be created, and to some extent, has been.  Some may say that the ideas of Riot Grrrl members were a threat to society and that’s why it was “diluted”.  However, I think that someone saw a chance for change and awareness to occur.  Someone saw that it was time for girls and women to stop apologizing for existing.  Our power is not lost and we are all in this together!

Phenomenal Woman

Maya Angelou’s poem “Phenomenal Women” is uplifting!  She writes that although she may not exactly fit the perceived definition of what is “beautiful”, she still feels beautiful.  She takes pride in herself and loves who she is.  I love that she refuses to hang her head because she is not “perfect”.  I wish more women would have the strength to say that they think they are beautiful (not in a conceited manner, but one of acknowledgement or appreciation).  Angelou writes that her beauty stems from her desire to live happily and enjoy the experiences that life has to offer.  Her beauty and strength comes from her willingness to simply be…be proud, be joyful, be alive....Angelou considers herself to be (what some might call) a “real woman”; that is, one who is natural and has an amazing aura of her own.  To read such statements is empowering!  I hope all women will think of themselves as phenomenal and say, “Phenomenal women, that’s me”.

I’m holding onto My Nose

I couldn’t help but smile while reading Lisa Miya-Jervis’ piece, Hold that Nose.  Just as she says a large nose is a physical characteristic of her Jewish heritage, the same thing goes for being Polish.  I can tell a Polish nose when I see one (in part, because I have one). They’re difficult to miss and I’m glad they’re there.  I thought the idea of having “corrective” surgery on her nose would have been a big mistake.  Although a large nose is not necessarily desirable in society’s eyes, it’s still part of who you are.  In the grand scheme of things, the size of your nose (whether it shows a degree of femininity or acceptance into the American culture) does not matter!  You have to take pride in your people and who you are.  It seems like, in America, everyone is an immigrant (meaning your ancestors came from somewhere else…no matter how many generations ago).  I also found it interesting that Lisa found humor in the stereotypes of Jews (Woody Allen movies).  I can find humor in the stereotypes created about my Polish ancestors.   I do not let them hinder my self-worth.  Sometimes, you just have to ignore all of the billboards, magazines, and TV commercials.  You are who you are, so hold your head (and of course your nose) high.

To Be Or Not To Be? ("Hot") That Is The Question.

According to Jessica Valenti’s article, “unattainable beauty standards for women aren’t a new thing.” Alright, it’s nice to have that established, but please tell me something that I don’t know.  All snide comments aside, she does bring to light an interesting topic (several in fact).  This piece’s main notion is widely known, but is often taken with a pinch of denial.  Valenti proposes that women are not the ones who define what is desirable.  She says that it’s about “being accessible-to men, in particular.  To be truly hot in this never-never land of tits and ass, we have to be constantly available- to be looked at, touched, and fucked. Sounds harsh, I know, but it’s true.” First of all, let me just say “Wow! Jessica Valenti, you are brave!” Secondly, I believe that she has a point.  This type of mentality is a harsh reality of the world today.  Some may care to disagree and that’s fine.  However, based on the vast majority of media available to the public today, I’ll support Valenti’s side of the argument.

 Sexually loaded images are streamed everywhere all the time.  These images are mostly of women.  As I see these images during my daily activities, I can’t help but wonder, “Does this woman (the one on the billboard, in the music video, or in the commercial) have a say in how she’s being portrayed to the world?” The answer: most likely not.  I will acknowledge that there are numerous dimensions to this type of situation as well, but again, who is defining what’s “hot” and how is it making others (specifically women) feel?  While exploring the subject further, my mind instantly leapt to a music video preformed by Pitbull and several scantily clad women.  Take a look for yourself.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2tMV96xULk

If Women Ran Hip Hop, I'd Be A Patron

I absolutely adore Aya de Leon’s poem, “If Women Ran Hip Hop” (pg.534).  I laughed or smiled at the end of (nearly) every line.  The points she brings up are interesting ones.  I wish that her vision was a reality.  I concur with her desire for women to take possession over their own bodies and live how they choose to.  Each of the small details she brings up is actually anything but “small”.  The world could be a better place if people truly stopped and thought before they acted.  A world without the degradation of women would be amazing!  I can picture the club she describes.  I especially love the idea of “all the young women [who are] afraid to bust… unleash[ing] their brilliance on the world.”  This kind of raw power could transform the world, but as of now, it’s just a thought of what could happen.

*Here's a link to a site that has her poem in its entirety:

http://www.ayadeleon.com/vision.html

Do we still need the f word? Why yes, yes we do…

The title of Anna Quindlen’s piece, “Still Needing the F Word” (pg. 56) made me chuckle.  At first, it brings to mind profanity. However, the statement’s actual meaning is much more powerful.  Quindlen believes that “Feminist” is a word that needs to be used more often in today’s society.  She acknowledges the point-of-view that we are in a postfeminist period of time, but both the author and I disagree with that notion.  There is still sexual inequality!  There is an idea that “being ‘cute’ trumps being smart for women in the social environment” and it is alarming.  I have witnessed behavior like this from young teens and women in their latter years.  Regardless of age, the girl or woman compromises her ideals to please her counterpart.  It is unfortunate that this myth is believed by some.  Instead, I feel that women need to stay true to themselves and fight for complete social freedom.  There is still an amazing amount of work to be done, and it is uncertain if the goal in mind will ever be reached.  However, I believe in this well known cliché “if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.”    

Difficult To Miss That 'Easy A'

          
In Patricia Hill Collin’s piece, “Toward a New Vision”, she speaks of symbolic oppression.  Her central thoughts on the subject may be characterized by a list that is placed in the bottom, right-hand corner of page 78.  The list shows qualities that are stereotypical to men and women.  This list she has holds similar ideas to those discussed in class, but that’s not the only reason her message has stayed with me.  Earlier tonight I went to see “Easy A” and these qualities were thrown onto the screen.  Without giving too much away (for those who have yet to see the film) one character was bullied for being homosexual while the movie’s main character chose to give into pressure and fulfill numerous stereotypes.  She dresses provocatively and lies about doing sexual favors for members of the opposite sex.  Olive does this in an attempt to help others and gain attention.  In other words, it’s how she supposed to behave to be a “real woman”.  She tries to harness the attention by embroidering a scarlet “A” on all of her clothing.  Olive likens her behavior to the punishment handed to Hester Prynne from Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter.  In all honesty, the main similarity I can see between the two plot lines (aside from the obvious topic of adultery) is that the male characters are not held accountable for their actions.  In the novel, Arthur Dimmesdale is not forced to suffer the public humiliation of his actions.  It may be argued that his punishment is in fact harsher than Hester’s, but that is not the focus of this argument.  Arthur’s ability to keep his misdeed hidden is similar to the male characters in the movie.  They appear to benefit from the destruction of Olive’s reputation and are not thought less of by the rest of society.  It seems that their actions are acceptable, while Olive’s are not (even though they are” involved” in the same activity). 

What is the point of this random connection you may ask? Although it is a nerdy and partial representation of my personality, it shows more than that.  It shows how these ideas of what it’s like to be “masculine” and “feminine” are so ingrained into popular culture that they becomes the topic of movies and even music.  Sometimes they aren’t even recognized as oppression because it’s “simply how thing are”.  It seems like nothing can change the minds of millions, but the truth is that change is already happening.