Balance

In class, we were asked to pick out a single quote from all of our readings and explain why it had such an enormous impact.  At the time this seemed nearly impossible.  It felt like every sentence had a story behind it and they were all equally important.  However, after being given more time there is one sentence in particular that has managed to imprint itself in my mind.  It is part of a large piece by Susan Shaw and Janet Lee, the book’s central authors.  The sentence simply reads, as written by Shaw and Lee, “Fortunately he did not rape her” (563).  This single sentence is part of a woman’s terrifying experience with her attacker.

She had been beaten and left broken in the hallway outside her apartment, but there was still some light to be found with the darkness.  The woman had not been raped.  Although this is an incredibly positive thing, it breaks my heart that the attack occurred at all.  No one should be made to go through what she did.  I believe that there is a balance that must be maintained throughout life.  However, the fact that rape was not in this woman’s cards is not what I had in mind.  Her story, with an innocent woman and a seemingly harmless man who transforms into a power-hungry individual, is unfortunately one that many experience and it is all too real.

Maid in Manhattan

              It’s a cute movie and a prime example of how a Latina woman can be treated in the work force.  They are looked down upon and often given the jobs that no one else wants.  The main character, played by Jennifer Lopez, is a maid in one of New York’s upscale hotels.  She is surrounded by guests who have nothing else on their mind but which piece of designer clothing they should wear.  While working harder than all the other employees, she is still thought of only as a lowly Latina maid.  Lopez’s character, Maria, eventually believes that she cannot be anything more than a maid.  Through a series of uncanny events, she sees that her heritage is not what is holding her back.   

            Although stereotypically (and historically) placed within the lower levels of the business world, Latinas such as myself may have seen that stereotypes can be defeated and the world has more to offer than scrubbing floors.  However, not everyone’s (actually no one’s) life can be scripted like a movie.  Everything takes time and a little luck never hurt!

The Politics of Housework

          The Politics of Housework was far less than a democratic discussion.  It rivaled a childish case of “he said, she said”.  That is not to say that the author’s feelings are insignificant.  However, I feel that the argument is one that will never come to an end and I have heard it from countless times.  Pat Mainardi’s essay has actually rendered me speechless.  I cannot think of anything to say about it, except for the fact that it reminded me of an episode of “Desperate Housewives”.  There was an argument over housework between Lynette and Tom (one of the main characters and her husband).  In the end, I think the issue is not that there is an unequal division of work, but that one spouse does not feel appreciated for the work he or she has done. 

Marriage +Love = A Bunch of Hooey

          Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s give it up for Emma Goldman!  According to Goldman, love and marriage have nothing to do with one another and marriage “makes a parasite of woman”.  Those are two fantastic ideas that may have held quite a lot of truth in 1910, but what about now?  Is it possible that marriage makes a woman “an absolute dependent…incapacitates her for life’s struggles, annihilates her social consciousness, [and] paralyzes her imagination.”?  Most likely not, but that doesn’t stop the insanely wealthy from trying.  Not that I’m saying wealthy people seek to destroy their partner’s “backbone”, but there may be a few cases out there.  In her time, Ms. Goldman would have been discussing a topic that many people refused to openly acknowledge.  It saddens me to know that women were forced to marry a man they knew could provide for them, with any emotional attachment never coming into play.  It is a biological tendency to look for a mate that can provide protection, but to be completely dependent on another person will not create an effective member of society by today’s standards.  So now, I can’t help but wonder why other “traditions” are being clung to (when women are involved) while the idea of love and marriage being worlds apart was so quickly discarded.  Any ideas?

Who Wants To Marry A Feminist?

It’s a fair question!  In my case however, swap the word “marry” with “date” and there you have it.  Although our experiences are not the same, I can still see parallels between myself and Lisa Miya-Jervis.  Marriage is something I look forward to in the future, but this is something that I believe is prevalent in the “dating world.”  To some, I may be too outspoken or stubborn and I don’t mind that.  I believe that in any relationship, both parties should hold an equal (or as close as possible) status.  In the past, I have become upset by the idea that” a woman’s place is in the kitchen, so where’s my sandwich?”  It actually angers me just writing it…I appreciate the freedoms I have been given by the women of the past and it hurts to think that someone would look down upon that freedom.  Granted, this is most likely one of those “extreme cases” and I was just lucky enough to find it.

It pained me to read that some people believe a feminist should hate all men and refrain from marrying.  Although, I did find it quite funny to see these ideas named and described as “the yeti of the anti-feminist world…everyone claims to have seen her but actual evidence is sparse.”  Further into her piece, Miya-Jervis describes a scene that makes me a bit nauseous.  She concisely describes the “perfect girlfriend” (according to a source that will remain nameless).  She writes that “wives [girlfriends] are assumed-by anyone-to be obedient little women with no lives of their own.” Whoa Nelly!  I cannot express enough, through words, how much I dislike this idea.  Maybe it’s the Irish blood flowing through my veins, but that just needs to end here!  Like the author, I believe that a relationship cannot function under these delusions of “grandeur” and it is time for society (and everyone in it) to wake up and smell the coffee.  Women are not meant to be treated like second-class citizens and deserve everything that they (we) have fought and worked for.  This is not just a quest for feminists, but all women.

Definitely Not Disney's "Camp Rock"

So if you’re anything like me, you felt like it was nearly impossible to avoid all of the hoopla surrounding the Disney Channel’s movie “Camp Rock” (featuring the Jonas Brothers, Demi Lovato, and several other Disney ‘stars’).  They sing, they dance, and they are all perfect!  There is never a hair out of place or a problem without a solution (that is only five seconds away)…it is a movie.  What kind of message does this send to the children (and unlucky older siblings) watching the show?  It is possible to be a rock star with the right kind of money or uncanny luck.  In other words, it’s not really going to happen for anyone.

            However, this kind of message is completely negated by Misty MacFarlane’s Girls Rock Camp.  The camp encourages and develops “self-confidence, strength, and empowerment through the medium of a chosen instrument-guitar, bass, drums, or vocals.”  In this camp attended by girls, grades 6-12, there are no close-ups with a camera or princess beauty treatments.  They work hard and rock harder!  The experience is not about becoming famous, but exploring what it means to be a girl.  Throughout their stay, campers see how to find a place for themselves.  This could mean a place with accepting people at school, or on a larger scale, society as a whole.  Each instrument is an outlet for all frustration, confusion, sadness, happiness, and any other emotions a young girl may have.  They are shown how to use their voices and be not just seen…but heard.  To witness this journey, even through a documentary, is a powerful thing.  The growth accomplished over the course of a week is amazing. I personally wish that there were more camps like these and that I had been able to attend one when I was younger.  The camps and all of the counselors’ hard work bring a whole new meaning to the phrase “Rock on!”

What's In A Riot Grrrl?

The answer to that question varies, but it definitely is not the stereotypical sugar, spice, and everything nice.  These women defy the mold that society has created.  I can’t help but wonder, is it such as bad thing that their courage and zest for an identity has been incorporated into the mainstream?  Alison Jacques seemed to think so.  The voice within her paper appeared to say that once society got a hold of the Riot Grrrl spirit, the original ideas behind it were undervalued.  I see her point, but not all meaning was lost.  Those responsible for spreading knowledge should not be chastised for doing to.  The intensity of emotion and thought within the Riot Grrrl circle can be shared by those outside of the group.  A new diaspora can be created, and to some extent, has been.  Some may say that the ideas of Riot Grrrl members were a threat to society and that’s why it was “diluted”.  However, I think that someone saw a chance for change and awareness to occur.  Someone saw that it was time for girls and women to stop apologizing for existing.  Our power is not lost and we are all in this together!